Walter Avery

I logged into the network today and discovered that the last time I'd written something here was on January 31st. I guess I'm just not cut out for journaling, at least in a public forum. It's not really like keeping a journal at all so much as it is social networking. It's alright, I don't have any amusing captioned photographs or things to complain about so I'm not sure the student body is missing out on much when I disappear like that.

I'm looking forward to graduating since it's my last year here. I don't have any solidified plans outside of summer vacation but I'd like to leave here. I'm sure it's nothing personal to this school. I'm sure I'd be just as glad if I were graduating from a regular high school. I just want to live somewhere where I can walk into a room and not know everyone there.

I'm going to spend my summer traveling Europe. Maybe I just won't come back. I certainly don't know too many people over there.

I picked up a book the other day. It's...interesting to say the least.

You're Psychic! Harnessing and enhancing the psychic ability within all of us

Just imagine this: a friend gives you a ring to look at. She tells you that it has been in her family for generations. Suddenly, your mind is filled with images. Births and marriages, lovers and deathbeds, infants and the aged. You describe the images and your friend looks at you in shock. Everything you said was part of her family history. How could you have known?

This wasn't luck. It was an actual skill called psychometry. And as with all skills, you can do exercises to improve it. Now you can learn how to enhance this ability and many others in this book.

Using more than 25 examples and 44 easy but potent mental exercises, you'll learn to develop all of your psychic abilities. Psychometry is just one of them. Other skills you'll learn include psychic healing, telepathy (mental communication with others), clairvoyance, communication with the spirit world, prophecy, astral travel and creative visualization.

Psychic abilities can be very practical, too. The book explains how to use your psychic abilities to develop a psychic alarm clock that can wake you up at any time you desire, keep you from falling asleep at the wrong time, or even help you find a parking place.

It's by a man named Harrison Price. You know, that guy who has those late night infomercials about earning money from home, hypnotizing yourself to quit smoking or to lose weight, all those gimmicks and money traps? I didn't know he was psychic but according to his biography he is. He's very psychic! ESP, communicating with the dead, divination and precognition?

Maybe he should start teaching here.

I read this article online the other day about the kid who killed his mother and attempted top kill his father just because they took away his Halo 3 video game. I would say it makes me worried about the effect violent games have on my generation but then I remember the stories of people trampling one another to get sales the day after Thanksgiving and back when the Harry Potter books were coming out.

All of these violent offenders have one thing in common, though. They're not psychics, which obviously means all non psychics are dangerous and should immediately be persecuted. Of course, when you add up the value of a human body when it's all broken down into chemicals and the like we have a net worth of only $4.50 so maybe it's not that big of a loss after all.

People like this may have the right idea, selling off your children for money, meat, and beer. At least then there's some sort of profit.

Astrologically speaking, January has been an exciting month. NASA recently received pictures from the Hubble revealing 14 'young runaway' stars that are sipping around the universe at break neck speed. The way the articles described them reminded me of a few overly energetic teenagers who attend school here. The pictures are really amazing.

Tonight also marks the largest full moon of the year. Once again, according to NASA, tonight's moon will be 14 percent bigger and 30 percent brighter than normal. While it will definitely be interesting to see this also means that people are going to act absolutely insane. I'm not sure why that is but it's definitely true. So, tomorrow if you wake up in a holding cell or in some strange location without your pants you can blame the Full Wolf Moon.

Remember the cornflake shaped like Illinois that was sold on auction for 1350 dollars?

How about the woman who sold her virginity for 3.8 million dollars?

Well, she's no Natalie Dylan but Scarlett Johansson sold a used Kleenex for 5K.

I thought we were in a recession?

And 173 people got trapped on the Singapore Flyer ferris wheel for six hours. I was going to take a ride on the London Eye while I'm here on vacation but I'm not so sure I want to anymore.

Over all, I guess it's a pretty slow news week.

London is pretty great but it's difficult getting used to the time change. I'm not even tired and it's already one am on Christmas Eve here.

Last night, tonight for all of you, I saw the West End Christmas lights. They were pretty.

There's not much to write about when everything is going so well, it's a shame.

I'm beginning to wonder, what exactly is it that the new security team is supposed to be doing here? Is it that while we innocently sleep tucked away in our beds, unaware, they are out there saving us from a never ending onslaught of would be terrorists and kidnappers? I mean, do we really even need them? I certainly don't feel any safer being "protected" by a group of supposed adults who look more like rejects from a Hot Topic. Is being attractive an important part of a security team's resumé? That seems to be what everyone says about them, not how skilled they actually are. Do they even have credentials or where they hired straight from the mall? I understand they can teach self defense but does it really take so many of them show a teenage girl how to shout "No! That's MY purse!" and kick a guy in the nuts?

I'm extremely ready for a break from this school but I'm not sure I can even make it to the end of the week.

I was on my way to drop off the Christmas gift Eddie unnecessarily gave me to Mr. Renaud but I never quite made it to his office. I can still feel it - I haven't been this elated, concerned, and relieved at the same time in as long as I can remember. Something has obviously happened to get the teachers that worked up but I have no idea what. Does anyone have any idea?

I couldn't decide which book I wanted to read for Independent Reading in Mr. Wright's class, either This Side of Paradise or Wiseblood so I'm going to read them both and decide which ones will work better for the assignments that arise from the project and use that one.

This Side of Paradise is F. Scott Fitzgerald's first novel and given that The Great Gatsby is my favorite book of all time, I thought it was kind of a shame that I've never read anything else the man has wrote. The book is strange though, divided up into different parts and deals with crazy rich people (I'm sensing a theme), World War, and psychologists that do things with their patients that they shouldn't.

On the other hand, Wiseblood is a novel by my favorite author, Flannery O'Connor, a devout catholic woman whose short stories and novels all have weird little bits in them like people getting chopped up by log splitters in the lumberyard and door-to-door Bible salesmen seducing one legged women and stealing their prosthetics. Wiseblood is about a disenchanted war veteran who's turned his back on religion to start The Church of Christ Without Christ and falls in with a couple of con men.

I'm going on a date tomorrow, does anyone know any place for such activities on a national holiday? And then, Friday, I start my new job. Retail on Black Friday. Maybe I'm the masochist.

That assembly was humiliating but I'm curious to know just what someone did for the teachers to decide we suddenly needed to have one. I've been at this school for almost four years now and they've never had an assembly like that before. I understand why the teachers at a boarding school would find the subject matter important since they are responsible for us while we stay here, but was the childbirth video completely necessary?

I went into town today to find a new job and it seems everyone is hiring for the season but there isn't much work for someone beyond the holidays. Maybe it's a sign I should just focus on my studies. Well, at least there's hope in the 20th of January.

Somebody stole my car and I got fired. The two are directly related.

I disagree, down to my bones, with virtually everything that John McCain said tonight. I cannot fathom a reasonable, socially-conscious person who would support the policies that McCain is advocating; from economics to social rights to healthcare everything he has suggested sounds devastating and retroactive to me.

I know that some informed people out there identify as conservatives, and I respect their intelligence and opinions, but I don't understand the appeal. I just can't wrap my mind around it.

McCain has, since the primaries, shown himself to be impulsive and heavy-handed, bitter and over-aggressive, and without any mind or care for the consequences of his actions. I simply don't trust him as a leader.

( I guess this is too long )

It's been nearly a month since I've spent any time on the school network looking at these journals which rises the question as to why I bother keeping one at all. As I glance back through everything I guess the general topic of conversation is what people are dressing up as for Halloween? I suppose any party we do have officially thrown for us at the school won't be a masquerade if everyone's spoiling their costumes on these forums?

I'm eighteen now which means in a few weeks I'll finally have my first opportunity to vote. I'm glad. It was horrible having a brain but being forced to helplessly watch as moron after moron voted for Bush not once but twice in a row. I've already decided on Obama after spending a few hours sifting through the economic plan posted on his website. What little faith I had in McCain was lost when he attended that debate despite saying a day prior that he wouldn't if they hadn't nailed out all the details of the Bailout. I guess you still have to have some amount of respect for him for being a Veteran though.

Classes are going well this year although it's difficult to be caught off guard with classwork when you've had the same teachers year in and year out for so long. Zener is kind of nice that way isn't it? Even still I'm counting down the days until our next break. I enjoy getting an education and all but with the way the economy is going lately I doubt I'll ever be able to go to college so I'm not sure what good all these courses are going to do me.

It's difficult to think of what life will be like without having to be here.

( Private to Mr. Yates )

What are your nicknames?
I don't think I've ever been called any.

What do you do before bedtime?
Double check my homework

What is your favourite scent?
Limes

What video games are you playing at the moment?
I'm currently "between" video games.

What do you eat the most?
Greek food

Do you believe in love?
Not in the way to which this question refers.

Said "I love you" and meant it (not to a relative)
Not to a person.

Had an online relationship that resulted in cyber sex?
No

What is your favourite fictional character?
Sydney Carter

What color crayon would you be?
Gray

Have you ever been drunk?
No

What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
"Burnin' Up" and it was horrible

Current favourite song?
The buzzer on my alarm.

What's your favourite item of clothing that you own?
I'm rather partial to my shoes, we've been together for a long time.

What turns you on?
Uhm-let's go with intellect?

What would you like to achieve within the next 3 years?
A five figure salary and to pay off my car repair bills. I think one can definitely help out the other.

What should you be doing right now?
Reading at least ten pages of "Heart of Darkness"

Last person you were on the phone with?
My mother

What is your favourite sport to watch?
Hockey, it's always over in an hour and a half.

Favourite kind of pie?
French Silk

Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.

Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.

Do you believe in ghosts?
No, that's ridiculous.

Whats the biggest lie you've ever told?
No.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes.

What do you wear to bed?
T-shirts and cotton pants.

Are you going to tag anyone?
It doesn't really matter. Nicholas. Brea.

At what age do people usually stop celebrating their birthday by way of parties and presents and those ridiculous hats? I turned 18 on Monday and I only just realized today because of a belated birthday card received in the mail. Of course, I don't think I've really had an honest to goodness birthday party since I was eight.

Monday I spent six hours in a repair shop with my car. Perhaps I should have told them it was my birthday, maybe they would have given me a discount or something, like maybe buying me dinner before they screwed me.

Can anyone think of a way to use Empathy for profit?

Mr. Wright has assigned us to read Heart of Darkness for this coming term and I have to admit I am not looking forward to this at all. Anyone who has already read the story will know exactly what I'm talking about. I can't imagine someone having read Conrad's dry, dull prose and actually enjoy it. The horror! The horror! indeed.

Of course, now I look forward to school starting with an impending sense of dread and foreboding, at least where Language Arts is concerned and I'm trying to come up with senior level literature that I would actually enjoy reading. Maybe Faulkner, the crazy old bat that he was, or a survey of Transcendentalists. Really, anything but Hemingway or Jane Austen, the two people in this world that I believe should have never been allowed to put pen to paper. I'd even read Dickens if I had to.

I wonder if it's not to late to appeal to a higher power.

Additionally, did anyone read that article in the paper about missing clothes? I'm not sure if one should be pleased this place is such a low crime area that stolen laundry is important enough for the presses or annoyed that the paper couldn't find something worthwhile to fill its pages up with instead.

I had a strange dream last night about spiders. It turned into a bit of a nightmare which strikes me as bizarre since I'm not really afraid of spiders. It makes me wonder if, when Dreamwalkers are trespassing into the minds of unsuspecting sleepers (that has to be the only explanation) if they can influence the emotions of the person's brain that they're squatting in. I suppose it's theoretically possible given what I know about Dreamwalkers and their ability although I'm not sure any of students here are advanced enough for that sort of thing. On the other hand, if the Dreamwalker was afraid of spiders and broke into someone else's dream which coincidentally happened to be about spiders, would the dreamer be inspired by the walker's fear if said dreamer was an empath?

I've picked up a part time job washing dishes at a restaurant in town to pay for the repair bills of the car I use to drive into town which could very well break down in the process. I sense a vicious cycle. I've never had a job before and I thought washing dishes would be a very easy way to make money. It is pretty easy, just incredibly hot, hotter than I would have thought with all the steam rolling up out of the dishwashers right into your face. Well, at least I get free dinner when I work and thirty percent off food when I come in. Not that I think I'll be making any more extra trips into town. Have you seen the price of gas lately?

Despite the solar eclipse that took place today, the news on the internet really is awfully strange.

Passengar Stabbed, Beheaded on bus.

Monster Washes Up on New York Shores.

Compared to those two articles, the one about the thieves stealing the shark from the aquarium just seems kind of blasé.

I suppose I don't exactly understand the concept of a pajama party. Although I've clearly never been invited to one, since that's not the type of thing that males do, from what I've heard and seen on reruns of old television shows, way back in the day when writers actually attempted, albeit vainly, to make the programs they produced actually contain some small iota of value, a pajama party (a.k.a. slumber party, a.k.a. sleepover) consists mostly of teenage girls getting together to do each other's make up, talk about boys, watch movies, call the boys they talked about and then hang up quickly after they answer, or illegally break into the hostess' parent's liquor cabinet and learning a valuable lesson about the dangers of alcohol.

Is that really...all it is? I suppose I can fathom the appeal of doing so, if that's the kind of thing you enjoy. I just don't understand why it has to be overnight and in your pajamas? Can't any of those activities be equally appealing to do during the day in your normal clothes?

I've been trying to think of the male equivalent to the pajama party as well but I haven't come up with anything except to crash a girl's pajama party. I'm not sure girls realize this, or maybe they do which is a secret ulterior motive to holding a pajama party, but most adolescent males have the idea that when girls get together for things like this, they're dressed in all of those fancy girl pajamas, or maybe just their underwear, crawling on each other having pillow fights and practicing their kissing skills on each other. Which, of course, you probably aren't.

Thus, I can only gather that the real purpose of a pajama party is secretly, and maybe even unbeknownst to both sexes, just another step in the weird mating rituals of the human race. The proclamation "NO BOYS ALLOWED!" is, of course, only going to guarantee that boys will attempt to somehow be apart of it. While it's highly likely boys would have attempted to crash the sleep over regardless, adding that last little bit seems to me to be a subconscious display of desperation for a little bit of excitement and soft core male attention so the girls involved can both have fun with their friends and feel at least a little bit hormonally satisfied all at the same time.

I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is other than that.

Even though the fourth was two days ago, I can still hear and see people setting off fire works, not just on campus but in the city too. I suppose that means it's a good thing that I lack the discipline to stick to my plan to maintain a normal sleeping pattern so I'm not up all night long every night because it can be pretty loud on occasion.

The fireworks at the picnic were pretty impressive. I don't understand how they get them to explode into different shapes but I'm sure there's a book on it somewhere in the library or in town that will explain it, especially during this time of year. I've decided I might like them more if I were lighting them off myself. I haven't in a long time but I remember them being a lot of fun. A lot of things were more fun when I was a child then they are for me now, however.

Most people consider it myth, or at the very least a vague possibility, but the idea that when truly horrible event takes place in a certain location, feelings can be so strong that they carry on through time, some times for hundreds or even thousands of years is true. It also applies to positive feelings, to all feelings as long as they're passionate. How long they linger depends on different circumstances, usually quantity and duration...age.

Teenagers are much more emotional than most people. It's going to be very difficult sleeping, tonight.

Despite the wise words of Anne Saxton who claims "Why else to keep a journal, if not to examine your own filth", I've erased all of my journal entries from my junior year just like I did my sophomore posts in my junior year and my freshman posts in my sophomore year. There's really no purpose in looking towards the past to help you cope with the future, or even the present. At least in my case all I was in the past was a stupid kid. I'd like to think that another year at this school has made me a bit more intelligent than I was before, but I've successfully eradicated any proof of that.

I think I need to start going to bed earlier and waking up at a decent time in order to get ready for school. To set a healthy sleep pattern. It usually doesn't take very long. The trick is to only sleep about four hours one night so the next you're so completely exhausted you're practically ready to fall into bed by ten o'clock, then you force yourself to stay up until midnight and set an alarm for eight the next day. Summer vacation turns me into a night owl. Sometimes I don't even wake up until four in the afternoon. It is a waste of a day but I do gain an evening.

The evening I'm gaining now is a lot more enjoyable than the afternoon I had, anyway.